Gold Standard

Of ALL MY ranks of expert liars who lie for ME constantly
The greatest liar of them ALL is Rudi, unquestionably
The lies he tells are masterpieces, each one better than the last
They cheer ME up when I feel down, revive MY spirits when downcast
I’ve ordered MY whole lying staff to listen carefully and learn
Rudi sets the gold standard to which ALL other lies should yearn.

While I’m the World’s Greatest Liar Rudi comes in second place
When it comes to lying through your teeth Rudi lies through his face
The lies he tells to defend ME are percious gems of truth evasion
He’s docent of deceit, potentate of prevarication
I can’t wait to hear the next lies he’ll soon send spinning on their way
To counter new FAKE NEWS “reports” of things I do and tweet and say.

Please understand MY hand-picked lying staff is Great at lying too
Suckupabee tells lies each day that make “reporters” heads unglue
And Kellyspam’s fine lies drip acid wit and treat ALL with disdain
But next to Rudi their lies pale, they try to top his lies in vain
And that is why I’ve put him in charge of fighting Mike Cohen’s lies
With better lies than Cohen’s lies for ME could ever realize.

Eventually he’ll piss ME off and I will kick him out the door
But ‘till that day I’ll praise his lies and give him cause for many more
Because he can spin out new lies much faster than MY fingers tweet
Even before MY next tweets fly he’s lying to FAKE NEWS defeat
So RUDI! RUDI! He’s our MAN! No liars lie the way he can!!!
And ONLY I ALONE lie better so MY lies can his lies fan.

28 July 2018