Victor and Hero

You must first trap the dolphin before you can set him free
That is a lesson Jacque Cousteau impressed once upon ME
And during MY recent Trade Wars I applied it so well
I can now declare Victory over EU trade Hell
Because I first declared Trade War, then concessions secured,
I take full credit for ending the war I first ensured.

The stock market’s exploding because I ended the mess
That the Trade War I first demanded would have caused, I guess
As Victor over MY Trade War before it full began
I will be hailed as Hero by MY Base across the land
It does NOT matter that I first brought on the Trade War fight
Because I have now ended it before it could ignite.

Of course I’ve only said so far that the EU agrees
To work towards “zero tariffs” and “zero subsidies”
But that’s enough to ease back tensions growing out of hand
Before they reach critical mass due to MY first command
I am both instigator and ender of Trade War scare
So crowning ME both Victor and Hero is only fair.

Because I change MY mind a lot who knows if things will hold
Before I again show the EU both MY shoulders cold
Who cares? For now I’m Victor AND Hero AS ALL AGREE
Because the poor dolphin I first trapped I have now set free!
I hope the EU thing does end so I can shift MY eyes
On MY much bigger Trade War with the Chinese I despise.

25 July 2018