VANDALS!

It was VANDALS! I tell you! NOT MY “contractor! NO WAY!
MY DOJ has NO RIGHT to “contradict” things I say!
If they continue to insist that VANDALS! weren’t to blame
I’ll fire their DAMNED ASSES because ALL KNOW it’s insane
To “believe” ANYBODY ELSE who tells you something’s “true”
When I say that it’s NOT EXACTLY the way I tell you!!!

It was VANDALS! I tell you!, using “box cutters” to SLASH
MY BEAUTIFUL “Reflecting Pool” I FIXED with “no-bid” CASH

Which saved “taxpayers” BILLIONS because I know how to get

The BEST DEALS available from “donors” who’d regret

Not being able to “support” ME when I tell them to

By doing “jobs” for ME with MINOR “kick-backs” as MY due!!!

It was VANDALS! I tell you! I DEMAND MY DOJ

PROSECUTE that guy I have ACCUSED and lock away

His VANDAL ASS for LIFE to set the “example” I need

To show when I catch VANDALS I “incarcerate” with SPEED!

HOW DARE MY DOJ REFUSE to do just as I say

And LOCK that VANDAL’S ASS AWAY FOREVER AND A DAY!!!

2 August 2026

What a new Justice Department filing says about the ‘botched’ Reflecting Pool renovation. https://flip.it/7_sVN_

OH! LOOK!

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS are driving great big rigs around
Like that one!…WOW!…It’s REALLY BIG!…The BIGGEST EVER FOUND
Maybe…Who Knows…What was I saying? Oh yeah…IMMIGRANTS
Are driving big rigs on our roads which truly is the pits
When it comes to taking JOBS from WHITE TRUCKERS away
And so today I’m here to…ummm…what did I want to say???

Oh yeah! ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS are TAKING JOBS AWAY

From fine MAGA TRUCK DRIVERS so it’s time to make them pay

By taking their TRUCK JOBS away…HEY!…There’s another one

That’s even BIGGER than the first one I saw and then some!

ZOOM ZOOM! ZOOM ZOOM! Look at them go! They’re GIGANTIC LIKE ME!

What’s that? If I “finish MY speech” more TRUCKS they’ll let ME see???

Well OK then! Something about ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS

Driving big rigs just like those that before MY eyes dance

Down the highway…ZOOM! There goes another! What?…OK…

MY “Sec of Transportation” will now have something to say

About how WONDERFUL to him MY LEADERSHIP has been…

OH LOOK! Another GREAT BIG RIG is dancing by again!!!

1 August 2026

Trump’s “Freedom Haulers” speech revealed something deeply unsettling about the President and his team. https://flip.it/03aw_g

A God Thing

So What if MAGA Party “polls” are in a “dumpster fire”?
GOD’s on “our” side so DUMOCRATS ALL may as well retire
Because when the DUM “Midterms’ come GOD will BLOW THEM AWAY!
So if they haven’t left by then HE’ll surely MAKE THEM PAY!
“Midterms” have now become “a GOD thing” per Mike Johnson so
They’re in the bag for MAGA TOADS since JESUS runs the show!!!

Mike Johnson claims “prayers” will help MAGA TOADS now “running” WIN

Because their “souls” are Lilly White and they possess NO “sin”

In the eyes of HE who they “pray” to each night and day

To SMITE DUMOCRAT ENEMIES rude enough to convey

“Opinions” about ANYTHING that differ from MY OWN

HOW DARE THEY when GOD HIMSELF chose ME to sit on EARTH”S THRONE???

With GOD and JESUS and “prayers” on “our” side there is NO WAY

MAGA TOAD “Republicans” will in the “Midterm” fray

Become “less” in “numbers” than they currently posses

In both the “House’” and “Senate” because “our” GOD does us bless

With “sovereign right” to RULE ON EARTH forever and a day

As long as we keep “praying” HE’ll make ALL things go our way!!!

31 July 2026

“This Is a God Thing” — Johnson Claims Prayers Will Help GOP Win the Midterms. https://flip.it/MRv4Kx

Protection

Maybe I’ll “pull” the nomination of MY “candidate”
For “Attorney General” because things aren’t going great
For “Congressional Approval” because TRAITORS there
Are refusing to accept him because he was FAIR
To ME by signing something somewhat “Official”-related
About forbidding ME from becoming “investigated”!!!

So What if MY “candidate” used to “represent” ME
As MY “personal lawyer” - He’s “honest” as can be
When it comes to PROTECTING ME from FAKE FRAUD “litigations”
Which arise when DUMOCRATS conduct “investigations”
Which MY “candidate” assures ME will NOT come to pass
Once as A.G. he’s actively kicking “legal” ASS!!!

He’s gotten pretty good at that already but still needs
“Congressional Approval” to “legitimize” ALL deeds
I ORDER him to do while he’s ignoring on the way
Resistance from DUM “lawyers” DUMOCRATS  put into play
Because once he’s “officially” MY A.G. he possesses
“Cart Blank” to as TOP LAWYER STOP “investigative” messes!!!

And so I’d be OK with “pulling” temporarily
Todd Blanche’s “nomination” for “approval” as A.G.
Until Congressional TRAITORS have been ELIMINATED
From the “approval process” to which they are now related
Because as MY “acting” A.G. Todd’s been PROTECTING ME
As well as he’ll do once he’s MY A.G. “officially” !!!

30 July 2016

Trump says he may temporarily pull Blanche's nomination for attorney general as Republicans seek concessions. https://flip.it/Saf5fH

An Exceptional Gentleman

I am a “cultured’ GENTLEMAN who “swears” hardly a bit

Except when it comes to “Iran” from whom the FUCKING SHIT

I will be beating out of because they have REFUSED to

Open up MY “Hormuz Straight” to let OIL SHIPS through!

No matter what I “offer” in “negotiations” they

REJECT MY GENEROSITY so those FUCKERS WILL PAY!!!

I hardly ever “swear” but the exception I’ve just made

Is against FUCKING RAG-HEAD SHITS whose SHIT-HOLE I’LL INVADE

By BOMBING the SHIT out of those DAMNED FUCKING SHITS before

I send “boots on the ground” around to smash their FUCKING door

Down and grind their FUCKING “country” into specs of dust

Because they will not ACCEPT ME as someone they can “trust”!!!

I was raised to be a GENTLEMAN in EVERY WAY

With but one exception - MAKING FUCKING “MUSLIMS”  PAY

For REFUSING to admit I BEAT THEM “fair” and “square”

In WAR they should have ENDED the FIRST DAY I arrived there

To LIBERATE those FUCKERS from the FUCKING TYRANNY

They’d “lived” under before MY BOMBS set their FUCKING “lives” FREE!!!

The “cultured” GENTLEMAN I AM I’ll continue to be

Except to “Iranian” SHITS who REFUSED to be FREE

After I had handed them that FUCKING “option” when

I BOMBED the FUCKING SHIT out of their “Ayatollah” men!

So FUCK THEM!…Of course I’ll remain a GENTLEMAN inside

Except to FUCKING SHITHEAD RAG-HEADS I cannot abide!!!

29 July 2026

Trump warns Iran: ‘We’re going to beat the f***ing s*** out of them’. https://flip.it/QMD06r

Someone To Blame

Although I won’t admit it MY Iran WAR has become

Exactly like the kind of FIASCO it’s called by scum

DUMOCRATS and “former allies” and indeed by all

“Foreign” and “domestic” ENEMIES who so appall

ME I’d like to IGNORE them because it’s getting harder

To pull new labels that put them down from MY INSULT larder!!!

My latest label for MY FOES is “COMMUNIST!”, OK?

But it’s NOT “working” as well as I’d hoped it would to sway

The HATE I “cultivate” in MAGAS against “labeled” FOES

Because MY WAR FIASCO’s “obvious” now I suppose

So it’s time to find someone else to BLAME for the BIG MESS

IMPOSED ON ME by that someone to who HATE I’ll express!!!

Prime candidates for being the someone I desperately

Need include Pete Hegseth, MY drunk “WAR Secretary”

And J.D. Vance because he’s a “Vice Presidential” PUTZ

MAGAS HATE THEM BOTH but maybe that HATE’s not enough

To DEFLECT BLAME from ME so I’d better find someone who

Possesses HATE ALREADY…Hey Melania, what’s new???

28 July 2026

Who will take the fall for Trump’s Iran war fiasco? https://flip.it/0l.hJ2

Republican Senators Losing Faith in Hegseth as Iran War Stretches On. https://flip.it/KmWfjX

Strategy

Some “strategy” so they tell ME is what WARFIGHTERS need

Before they begin ORDERING cannon fodder to BLEED

And MISSILE and BOMB “numbers” down to zilch let get depleted

Which is where MINE are almost at since “Iran’s” NOT retreated

From that DUM “Strait” I DEMAND opened up again just like

It was before I told that shit hole dump to “take a hike”!!!

I’ve had a BIGLY “strategy” since MY WAR I began!

It is to GRAB AS MUCH “Stock Market” PROFIT as I can

By alternating between saying “peace’ is NEARLY HERE

And ANGRILY REJECTING ALL “signed” “peace plans” that appear

And until very recently MY “strategy” worked well

But lately “stock manipulation’s” going STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!

Another shit hole “country” recently entered the fray

Just as I’d pulled MY “strategy” off better day by day

The “Whootees” I’m told they are called but I don’t give a woot

What they’re called, I ONLY care about OIL STOCK LOOT

They’re STEALING FROM ME and MY RICH “friends” which is why today

To restore MY “strategy” “Whootees” I’LL BLOW AWAY!!!

27 July 2026

Why Did Trump Stop The Bombing? https://flip.it/j4peKe

Blame Bobby!

Just like when “Covid” came to town and I into the breach
Threw MY GENIUS “advice” about ingesting bleach
And shoving lightbulbs up where the sun’s never seen to shine
My Brane since “Lettucegate” came has been working overtime
To come up with “solutions” to “explosive diarrhea”
Which if you’ve got I do NOT want in any way to see ya!!!

Of Course you can’t blame me for what’s “exploding” inside you!

With anything related to “health” I’ve nothing to do!

If you need to blame somebody for your bowel’s booming play
Blame Bobby Kennedy Jr. for bringing shit your way!

I really didn’t want him to be “health secretary”

But he brought VOTES MY WAY and that “position” was his fee!!!

So the next time you find your guts “exploding” in the “john”

BLAME RFK Jr. for bringing your “discomfort” on!

The “fact” I cut “inspections” back on “Taylor Farms” because

They were MAJOR DONERS TO ME was NO WAY the “cause”

Of your need to “evacuate” QUICKLY REPEATEDLY

BLAME BOBBY for HIS “Lettucegate” shit spreading sea to sea!!!

26 July 2026

Cyclospora outbreak dubbed "lettuce-gate" as concerns over parasitic illness spread across U.S. https://flip.it/x6KpBP

Unwithered

I have NO NEED “work” too hard at being PRESIDENT

Because MY STABLE GENIUS is SO INTELLIGENT!!!

IGNORE FAKE “reports” “withering” has turned MY Brane to “mush”!

MY GENIUS has never been so STABLE! I could CRUSH
Lesser so-called “geniuses” like that “Einstein” guy
Without needing to half of MY VAST Brane POWER apply!

MY “mind” has NOT “withered away”, it remains just as SHARP

As it’s been MY ENTIRE LIFE right from the VERY START

Since the day I was “born” it has steered MY DESTINY

To LOFTY HIGHTS OF POWER ONLY GENIUSES see!

As MY new TARIFFS on “lettuce” and “wildfire smoke”

Prove NO “witherings” come to MY GENIUS revoke!!!

MY “unwithered” GENIUS doesn’t “think” about masses

Of “people” I’m supposed to “lead” if they’re IMPOVERISHED ASSES!

ONLY a VERY FEW among the 1% I “like”

Enough to be “concerned” about, the rest can TAKE A HIKE

If they can’t “understand” MY GOLDEN AGE I’ve brought about

Is for RICH “friends” ALONE, not for the common MAGA lout!!!

As for MY “advisors” FAKE “reports” say “have no clue”

About GENIUS Branes and so “do not know what to do”

SCREW THEM just like the MASSES of MAGAS I’ve been ignoring

Because they too AREN’T SMART ENOUGH to get their NET WORTH SOARING

Thanks to MY GOLDEN AGE which ONLY “works” for those who need

NO “training” to take advantage of UNWITHERED GREED!!!

25 June 2026

Sources warn they 'don’t know what to do' as Trump's mind withers. https://flip.it/gtiB7D

STABLE GENIUS Trump Threatens to Tariff Mexico for its Lettuce and Canada for its Smoke. https://flip.it/2XelSQ

Clout Concern

There’s a report going around that I DON’T GIVE A DAMN

About ANYBODY BUT ME - NO woman, kid, or man

Is worth MY time to be “concerned with” so the report goes

Which is “true” but something I did NOT want to expose

Before upcoming ELECTIONS the “Midterms” hold in store

Because apparently I need to make “voters” LESS “sore”!!!

Well…I don’t “care” about VOTES so much by “themselves”, OK?,

What I “care about” is WITHOUT THEM THERE’S HELL TO PAY

For ME because if DEMONCRATS take back the “Congress” I

Managed to pack with MY TOADS because I’M A SMART GUY

I’ll be “impeached” AGAIN and with NO TOAD “majority”

This time around a JAIL CELL is the place I “fear” I’ll see!!!

But even if DEMS don’t SEND ME TO JAIL they’ll REMOVE ME

From MY “perks of office” guaranteed by TYRANNY!

BILLIONS OF DOLLARS MY “cons” and “grifting” could still obtain

Will DRY UP if I from PRESIDENCY they restrain

And “conviction” after MY “third” “impeachment” no doubt

By REMOVING ME from “office” will CURB MY CON’S CLOUT!!!

And so although it’s “true” I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN AT ALL

ABOUT ANYBODY BUT ME before “Midterms” this “fall”

They’re telling ME I’d better try to “change current perception”

That all I “care about” besides ME is BALLROOM ERECTION

But HEY!…Who Cares what “voters” say they are “concerned” about?

If I can’t RIG the “Midterms” I’ll just throw their “vote counts” out!!!

24 July 2026

Donald Trump Remains In Deep, Deep Trouble. https://flip.it/wKkhmJ

Voters Are Realizing that Trump Doesn’t Care About Them. https://flip.it/hYi8yB

Angry Trump Openly Urges GOP to Rig Midterms as Brutal Fox Poll Hits. https://flip.it/YWS3P8