Deputized

MyPillow Guy is in the news again and who can say
What role he and his cheap chopped foam crap pillows may yet play
In November’s elections which will distill the fate
Of our land which if Trump wins again will not be great
Because nuts like MyPillow Guy who’ve proved their loyalty
Will fill the government’s ranks with rank incompetency.

MyPillow Guy is back with one more convoluted plan

As crazy as all others he proposed since he began

Kissing Trump’s fat pillow ass instead of advertising

His crappy chopped foam products so many began despising

That touting for Dear Leader brought MyPillow bankruptcy 

When stores refused to carry them due to lie stridency.

MyPillow Guy’s new plan to guarantee Trump gets elected

Is for MAGA cult members who have formerly rejected 

Mail-in ballots to request them but not send them in

So on Election Day when they’re told they can’t vote again

They go outside, open their blank ballot, photograph it

And send the photo to him to as ‘evidence’ Dems hit.

There is no point in asking Lindell how his plan will work

Like every other plan proposed by the cheap chopped foam jerk

It’s due to come to nothing because one obviously

Can’t increase vote count by getting voters to agree

To not vote for them twice within a very short time span

Despite being ‘deputized’ and performing ‘God’s plan’.

But hey! It’s just MyPillow Guy we’re talking about here

Again making another convoluted plan appear

Out of the blue which only he alone can understand

About deputies not voting in a way God has planned

So here’s hoping all MAGA voters follow Mike’s advice

And don’t vote for Dear Leader this time not just once but twice!

17 June 2024

‘It’s God’s plan:” Mike Lindell intends to ‘deputize’ Trump voters for Election Day. https://flip.it/JvnLVN