Lowest

When I play golf I “tamper” with MY balls on EVERY shot
How else to get a “handicap” less than Jack’s by A LOT???
I break ALL “rules” of “etiquette”, MY “score” is what I SAY
If MY balls “slice” into a lake they’re on the “green”, OK???

MY “putting” is INCREDIBLE and ALL MY “drives” are Great
I’ve gotten AT LEAST SEVEN “holes in one” in EVERY state
MY golf courses are the Greatest their “designers” can do
I drive MY cart onto the “greens” to save a step or two.

I cheat when “people” are watching and when they don’t “see” either
Because to ME EACH “game” is TV REALITY THEATER
MY balls land in the middle of the fairway EVERY time
No matter how deep in the “rough” or “ woods” MY “shots” incline.

I also “tamper” with balls “lying” “better” than MINE do
It DOES NOT “matter” who I’m playing with, I them ALL screw
To GURANTEE I WIN EACH “round” I ensure that they LOSE
That is the price they pay if to play with ME they so choose.

I play MY Country like I play golf, cheating EVERY DAY
By “tampering” with “rules of law” to WIN ALL “games” MY WAY
I ignore so-called “traditions” established long ago
And drive MY cart right over those who would dare tell ME “NO”!!!

“EACH “shot” MY FOES take I DENY and throw off of the “green”
So I can get there first and sink MY balls with “putts” SUPREME
MY “score” is LOWEST EVERY TIME because it HAS TO BE
In “life” like in ALL golf “games” being LOWEST DEFINES ME.

31 March 2019

Trump is the world's worst cheat at golf, players and celebs say
https://nypost.com/2019/03/30/trump-is-the-worlds-worst-cheat-at-golf-players-and-celebs-say/

Commander in cheat? Donald Trump's 18 golf tournament wins examined
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/apr/02/donald-trump-golf-28-club-championships