FAKE TAPE!!!

Goddammit, it’s FAKE TAPE!!! I tell you!! ALL KNOW it’s FAKE TAPE!!!
And besides it is NO BIG DEAL, it’s not like “Watergate”
So what if I paid off a playmate? That’s what real MEN do
To make sure that their wives and lovers don’t get feeling blue
And when like ME a MAN is running in a voting race
A little bit of money hides the egg that’s on his face
So ignore all this secret tape crap MY “lawyer” concealed
It is FAKE TAPE!!! and anyway has nothing new revealed.

AS ALL KNOW I’m a lusty, viral, super-endowed MAN
The evidence is obvious, just look at either hand
And if I want a bit of nooky sometimes on the side
Although again that’s NO BIG DEAL it’s something ALL MEN hide
And since I am the best negotiator on this Earth
I always pay less than I owe no matter what it’s worth
To ME it is never worth much, but in this playmate case
I paid a little dough, OK? to shut her ugly face.

Maybe I discussed “payoffs”, OK? but NOT ON TAPE!!!
BELIEVE ME, what I say is TRUE, that tape’s totally FAKE!!!!
And even if it were true which it’s not but if it were
Unlike that “Watergate” thing why should it cause such a stir???
Again I say I am a MAN who takes what he is due
And is also so smart he knows how to those he screws screw
So get off of MY Manly back about FAKE TAPE!!!, OK?
If you’d been running for office like ME course you’d pay!!!

20 July 2018