Condo Con Plan

MAGA merchants in Florida have all started complaining
That Canadian “snowbirds” from travel are abstaining
Florida is usually filled up from now to spring
With Canadians who at their businesses cash fling.

Stores are becoming empty and gas stations are not pumping

Gas because into “snowbirds” cars it they’ve not been dumping

And thousands of “snowbird” owned condos have been offered up

For sale which tends to lower their price and markets disrupt

What can I say except “So What???” Who cares if things aren’t great

For small merchants because members of MY 51st state

Have ended the migration pattern they were prone to follow

To Florida to for a few winter months in sun wallow?

As a real estate genius I see so easily

That lack of “snowbirds” is for ME an opportunity

To suck up a lot more bucks out of the Sunshine State

By doing what I alone only know how to do great!

Every snowbird condo in the market that I spy

I’ll make an offer for and once the sales paper’s signed I

Won’t pay the owner the amount upon which we agreed

And if he sues ME I’ll sue him right back with lightning speed!

Just think of it! Thousands of condos I’ll through offers collar

Without costing ME more than a few cents on each dollar

I said I’d pay ‘cause HEY!!! We’re talking Canadians here

Who are too dumb to for MY 51st state offer cheer!

And who cares if the condos I buy cheap need some repairs?

Suckers I plan to rent them to I will keep unawares

Of all plumbing and all HVAC and all electrical

Issues of which condos I rent to them are found full.

Who are these stupid suckers you ask? They’ll obviously

Be loyal MAGAs trying to be MY friend desperately

By renting properties I own. They may gain bragging rights

About their landlord (ME!!!) but repairs won’t be in MY sights.

So that’s MY plan: as 51st state residents all quit

Florida I’ll make each condo they want to sell fit

Into MY genius approach to make cash while I can

By screwing sellers and buyers through MY condo con plan.

23 February 2025

Canadian snowbirds cancel Florida trips over Trump’s threats. https://flip.it/9lI-RQ