Getting Bent

Much ado about proving you are the biggest dick
Among all dick Republicans making our country sick
Has come to pass now that Tommy T has been forced to drop
His ban on military promotions which was a flop
With everyone except himself including his own party
Who knew its sheer stupidity made their future less hardy.

Republicans already knew they faced an uphill fight

In elections due to their anti-abortion plight

Brought about by the Supreme Court they’d worked hard to stack

That like a dog catching a car had dragged them down a track

To sure defeat if no retreat from their stance they pretended

So they prevailed on Tuberville to get his ban amended.

After one year of saying he would never change his mind

Tuberville relented and left most of it behind

The pressure from his own party proved at long last to be

Enough to make him back down from his intransigency

And say henceforth only four-star promotions he’d prevent

Unless the military to his demands did relent.

Tuberville’s the biggest dick there’s lately been no doubt

In the party where being a dick’s what it’s about

By maintaining his four-star ban his dickness he preserves

At least until his party to election loss more swerves

At which point they will pressure him again to please relent

From his ban before Republican dicks get more bent.

6 December 2023

Sen. Tuberville drops his monthslong hold on military promotions https://flip.it/SBDpOw

“He got nothing” Sen. Tommy Tuberville’s military blockade fails https://flip.it/EIz3Zi