Rallying the Troops

They are MY troops, OK, and that means when I go to visit
I can do ANYTHING I want and say what is and isn’t
So if I want to sell signed hats I happen to have brought
And talk about the 10% pay raise I claim I got
The hats are NOT “political”, the raise is NOT a “lie”
And if I “revealed secrets” those troops ALL are MINE to fry.

Remember I am VERY BRAVE, I charge unarmed at guns
So going to an “active war zone” does NOT give me runs
I’d go to Baghdad constantly if I had enough the time
But EVERY day is filled with SO MUCH WORK I must decline
That’s why MY SUPER SECRET RALLY TRIP worked out so nice
It opened new overseas markets for MY merchandise!

MY troops responded VERY well when I their lives disrupted
Despite MY “Lock Her Up” chant into which NOT ONE erupted
They looked a little puzzled when I bragged about their raise
But that, I’m sure, was ‘cause it was SO BIG it did amaze
And the discount I gave them for MY hats was SACRIFICE
I even cut MY “signature” cost to TWO THIRDS full price!!!

So all in all it was Tremendous “rallying” MY troops
And proving just how BRAVE I am to lying FAKE NEWS snoops
I opened up new markets by “expressing sympathy”
And promised they would be home soon (as Vlad directed ME)
As long as I am NOT “endangered” I’ll go back again
Maybe NEXT Christmas (if they’re there and I’m NOT in the pen).

27 December 2018

Analyst: Trump confused Iraq trip with rally
https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2018/12/27/trump-trip-iraq-campaign-rally-vinograd-sot-vpx.cnn

Troops bringing Trump hats to sign may violate military rule
https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/26/politics/iraq-trump-hats-us-troops-maga/

Trump Seems to Have Accidentally Revealed the Identities of a Covert Navy SEAL Team on Twitter
https://splinternews.com/trump-seems-to-have-accidentally-revealed-the-identitie-1831330106

Trump Brags To Troops About A Fictional Giant Pay Raise He Got Them
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-lies-military-pay-raise-iraq_us_5c2441a0e4b0407e907fbc2b

Trump told two 'flagrant lies' to American troops' faces about the pay raise he said he gave them
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/12/trump-told-two-flagrant-lies-american-troops-faces-pay-raise-said-gave/