Five Warring Factions

Currently five factions in the GOP house roil
Any chance Republicans can through mutual toil

Pass a bill that any single faction wants to back

For each faction hates all the others and all hate each back

So what each faction’s voters had elected them to do
Cannot get done because each one the others want to screw.

The first faction gains traction in mass media each day

By proving inability to nice with others play

Margie’s Greene’s among this group which kind of says it all

She’s typical of those seeking another speaker’s fall

Being firebrands for Trump is all they care to be

So do not care if they’re condemned for kook insanity.

The second faction’s as conservative as it can be

But unlike the first group’s kooks isn’t reactionary

Instead it’s critical of all the speaker puts in play

If it smacks of compromise with Dems in any way

And so no matter what Speaker Johnson tries to achieve

This block of critical conservatives will at it sneeze.

The third faction is as tired as a faction can get

Because it’s full of centrists who have yet to win a bet

Against MAGA extremists who keep on kicking its ass

When it with Democrats tries to a compromise bill pass

So although this group is also conservative it’s not

Extreme enough to give compromise with MAGAs a shot.

The fourth faction are those who felt McCarthy did OK

And got pissed when a pedo blew his speakership away

They would like to bring Kevin back to have another go

At trying to organize the chaotic clown show

The House GOP has become since MAGAs kicked him out

But this group has the least chance of all for applying clout.

The fifth faction are Rules Committee members who won’t budge

When another faction’s bills against which they’ve a grudge

They kill all bills before they can be brought up on the floor

If they in any way think Trump would not those bills adore

Which explains why so few bills from the Republican side

Of the now chaotic House can into new laws slide.

So there you have it: five factions that do not get along

With one another in one party’s current chaos throng

And with no chance of compromise across all GOP

Factions there’s no chance any bill can law come to be

Five warring factions in one party without any clue

Together or separately what legislators do.

20 February 2024

A guide to the five GOP factions roiling the House https://flip.it/tYwLYL