Accomplishments

Let’s pause today to remember ALL that I’ve ACCOMPLISHED
While I take TOTAL “credit” for EACH thing upon that list
So-called “Memorial Day” is the perfect time to gaze
Upon MY GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENTS that CONSTANTLY AMAZE
Let’s HONOR ME for ALL the things I claim that I have done
And NOT remember ANYTHING by that Kenyan begun.

“Veterans Health Care” is a Great, Tremendous place to start
It works because I ALONE played such a Tremendous part
INCOMPETENCE was in FULL charge before I hustled in
To apply MY Great BUSINESS SKILLS and thus make it begin
Surviving vets are now as HEALTHY as they’ll EVER be
And EVEN those who’ve DIED WILL tell you it’s because of ME!!!

How about MY ECONOMY??? It’s GREATER EVERY DAY!!!
Who Cares if Soybeans rot in fields and “workers” get low pay???
MY TAX BREAKS ensure RICH DONATIONS keep trickling in
To make “election” WINNERS remain RED Republican
Maybe “trickle up” eventually may “trickle down”
Once ME and MY RICH RED Friends gain ALL SOME we’ll spread around.

I CAN’T take ALL credit for the Anti-Abortion Fight
OLD Southern WHITE MALE “legislators” worked both day and night
To restrict “reproductive rights” poor “women” could afford
While V.P. Pence got GOD HIMSELF to get those guys on board
But I’ll take credit anyway ‘cause it is UNDER ME
That “coat-hanger abortions” WILL soon back in alleys be.

I DON’T do “cover-ups” but MY Greatest ACCOMPLISHMENT
Has been to cover MY OWN ASS from CONSTANT HARASSMENT
To ACCUSE WITCH HUNTERS!!! of TREASON and “investigate”
Those who so recently “investigated” ME of late
I’ve “turned the tables” so COMPLETELY it’s a MIRACLE
(I told MY Base that was MY “plan” but, BELIEVE ME, that’s BULL!!!)

“Memorial Day” is now by “Executive Decree”
“REMEMBER TRUMP ACCOMPLISHMENTS DAY” so declared by ME
Into the far off, misty future this MY day WILL serve
As an ANNUAL REMINDER I had a LOT OF NERVE
And even after I am gone distant centuries hence
“People” WILL still be AMAZED at MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS!!!

Under polluted skies through which there is NO glimpse of sun
As Climate Change I so DENIED bakes Earth like a hot bun
The Rich in Towers overhead WILL NOTHING “trickle down”
Because they NEED ALL wealth to live so high up they don’t drown
On MY day EACH year huddled masses below WILL agree
To recall MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS and curse MY “memory”.

 27 May 2019

AP FACT CHECK: Trump takes credit for Obama's gains for vets
https://apnews.com/375515aecedb4aed949e4f2eb9c54eb6